Our wonderful reader Meghan is wondering what she should do with the guy she's dating who seems to have commitment issues and might be playing games with her.
Her email:
I met him just after he broke up with his old gf. I played it cool because I didn't want it to turn into rebound sex.
Things worked out nicely and I have been seeing this guy for about 6 months now and it was always been super relaxed and we can always have a good time, and have lots of chemistry in bed.
But it almost seems as soon things get serious he gets scared and stops treating me like his gf and will intentionally do things that make me jealous.
He says he likes me a lot and when we are alone he's super loving. I'm trying to give him space to think about us but I fear he is using this time to hook up with other girls. It hurts and I want to say something but I'm not wanting to scare him off by talking too much about our relationship because of his commitment issues.
I am confused if he is just playing games with me because he knows he can.
What should my next move be?
My Response:
Don't allow him to play games with you, Meghan.
When you remember that you're the prize, that you don't need him; when you remember you're the one doing the choosing here and you change your mindset to that place of confidence in who you are and what you have to offer him, you shift the relationship.
You change the way he sees you by changing the way you see yourself.
Remember your life, you've got one, too.
Yes, you have every right to talk to him, but are you talking to him out of your own insecurities or because you really have something to say?
Fill your time, fill your life, as I wrote in one of my previous posts, be hard to get, don't play hard to get.
Show him that you have a life, too, but not because you're showing it to him, but because you do have a life. And if you don't have one, get one.
Life is meant to be lived in every sense of the word, with so many places to fill your life with love so that he doesn't become your everything. He's not! He's only another human being with his own faults and shortcomings.
But above all, know what you can live with and what you can't. Know what he's worth to you. You said he has commitment issues, well, is that what you want? A relationship with someone who has commitment issues?
Or do you want someone who's on your page, who wants the same thing you want with you, who doesn't make you jealous or pull away when you get to close or play other games with you?
It's always your decision, Meghan. But it has to come from you. You're not going to change him; he's going to be who he is. You be who you are. That beautiful, confident, sexy woman known as you!
Hope this helps.
Love,
Jane
Do you have any additional thoughts, words of encouragement, or advice for our beautiful friend Meghan? Tell us in the comments!
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