You've tried to move on so many times. You've shed more tears over this guy than would fill an entire ocean. You've done everything you can, you've tried everything you've read or heard to get him to commit to you in the way you want him to commit to you. You've hoped and waited and then hoped some more, spending more time and energy analyzing him than you're comfortable admitting. And nothing has changed. You don't want to believe that you might have to let this wonderful guy go, but you're starting to wonder if you're just wasting your time with him.
No one seems to understand.
No one seems to understand you and what you’re going through; the agony and the ecstasy, the highs and the lows (oh those awful lows), and the highs that keep you in it, keep you sticking around convincing yourself that eventually he’s going to get it. This time is going to be it. Those wonderful (albeit few) moments with him that keep you on the begging end, keep you wishing and hoping and staying right where you are all in the hopes of finally getting him to see the light. Of you. Your light.
You’re not alone.
And more importantly, what you're feeling is nothing to be ashamed of. I know; you feel like you can’t admit to anyone just how deep you are in this. You have a hard time believing it yourself. And every time you even think about leaving him, getting out, it’s enough to give you a panic attack. Everyone tells you how easy it should be. Because of the way he treats you. Because of the way you feel most of the time with him. Because, because, because.
You know in your head that they’re right. On the head level, you get it. But none of that matters to you when it’s your heart that’s going through this, when even the thought of being without him turns your world upside down. There’s no one you can talk to about this because your friends are all tired of hearing about it over and over again. And they can’t understand why you don’t just leave him once and for all. And you’re starting to wonder if you might be a little crazy yourself for not being able to just do it. But you can’t. No matter how much you want to, you just can't him go.
It has nothing to do with you.
Just know that the reason he won't commit to you has nothing to do with you. This is all about him.
There are so many possible reasons why he can't bring himself to commit to you, and none of them will make any sense to you, so don't waste your time trying to figure him out. It's time to simply accept that you've done all you can. If you've tried my recommendations to move him along and he still won't commit, then the answer should be clear. It's been too long, it's been too much. It's time to make a clean break and focus on you and the life you've been putting in the background.
Who are you? What do you love to do? What makes you happy? What makes you feel alive?
Find your way back.
Don't do it to hurt him, or as an ultimatum, or in the hopes that he'll now see just how awful and empty his life is without you. Do it for you, and because it's the best thing for you and your life, your values, and to move on and find what you want in your life. This isn't about him.
Know without a doubt that if he is the one for you, he will come around and he will contact you, but it's time to stop waiting and hanging around, wasting your life away waiting for him to come around. If he come's around then he'll come around, but don't expect him to or keep hoping he will - just move on with your life without looking back.
You deserve so much more than this, my beautiful friend, and you waiting around for someone who doesn't even appreciate you is no way to live. It's time to choose you over him and start learning to live again, living the life you were born to live.
In the light of that beautiful woman known as you.
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