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Her subject line read "Hurt and Lonely"

3 Comments

A beautiful woman with her face in her hands because her self esteem is so low.
I keep myself busy, but it hurts so bad.

Our letter today comes from Penny, who got my attention with her subject like that read "Hurt and Lonely." My heart went out to her as I read her story.

Read what she wrote to me - and my response - below. Then you can tell her what you want her to know in the comments there, too.

Her Letter:

Hi Jane,

I have four grown children, just over a year apart. The 50 yr. old is the oldest. I ended up raising them alone, since the oldest was 10 yrs. old.

I had to work two full time jobs, as my ex didn't pay child support.

They all turned out good. No troubles with them. My daughter and I were especially close for years, me babysitting, etc., but then I was working full-time and also went to college at 55 yrs. old and she got a job. She has a husband and two kids, I am alone.

We had an argument in 2009 when I was under stress from my mother dying, etc. We can't seem to get it straightened out. She wants nothing to do with me and therefore I also don't see my grandchildren, who are in college.

I've asked for forgiveness, but she won't.Continue Reading

Do this one thing for me ...

2 Comments

A beautiful woman is sitting in a field thinking about love.
Just give it a try.

Are you doing it again?

Waiting?

Waiting for someone to change?

Waiting for someone to find you?

Waiting for someone to make it all better?

It's okay. There's no shame in admitting if you're here. I've been here. Most of the women I coach have been here before. It's my own default place.

You don't even realize you're doing it.Continue Reading

It breaks my heart

10 Comments

A beautiful woman is feeling lonely and sad, feeling as though nothing will ever change.
You're beautiful, you know.

You break my heart, girl. Over and over again.

I see you. You're beautiful, you know. But I know you don't.

You say your thighs are too big, your body not sexy enough, your hair not full or thick enough or too thick or too curly or whatever you see that's not enough or too much.

You only see that you're too old or not pretty enough or you've got that medical/physical condition or that other thing someone labeled you with and then you labeled yourself with it and made it your life sentence.

Too fat, too ugly, too all wrong in all the wrong ways - I hear the awful words you use with yourself and they all add up to one thing - too unlovable. And then you've gone out of your way making sure you prove to yourself exactly that - unlovable.

You pick the meanest guy in sheep's clothing.

No, he's just misunderstood you say and oh that sad childhood he had or that awful luck he's always had. No, girl, he's got what ever has happened to him because he's exactly who he is!

Continue Reading

It's Time to Give Up

5 Comments

A woman is lying her head on a couch wondering why she keeps attracting emotionally unavailable men.
It's time to stop trying to be something other than who you really are.

Give up trying to be that girl who has everything you want.

Give up trying to be that girl who does what you've never been able to do.

Give up trying to be that girl who doesn't have to take life seriously, who never seems to feels the pain, who lives her life for having fun.

Give up trying to be her!

You know who I'm talking about. The one you're comparing yourself to, the one you wish you were, the one you try so hard to be.

"Why can't I be more like her?!" Because you're not her. You're you.

Your journey is your own.

What you've been through is yours.

What you can't unsee is a part of that journey.

How it's changed you, how it's molded you, is all of you.Continue Reading

Just one

37 Comments

A beautiful woman is being hugged
It just takes one.

I don't know what you're going through today, but I've got a reminder for you of something I used to always forget along the way, especially on my least hopeful days.

All it takes is one.

One person.

And I'm not just talking about some guy.

I'm talking about something you can control. Something you have all the say in.

I'm talking about you.

Someone's going to wrap their arms around you and hold you like you've never been held before, Beautiful.Continue Reading

You never learned to love. You only learned to please.

36 Comments

Beautiful woman outdoors looking contemplative, thinking about love.
What have you REALLY learned?

We say too much.

They pull back, they pull away.

We stop talking.

We've learned.

We don't say enough.

They call us boring.

We start saying more.

We've learned.

But what have we really learned except how to pay even closer attention than we already do, to what they say, what they don't say, how they respond, how they don't respond?

To the high self-esteemed among us, what they learn is something very different from what we learn.Continue Reading

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About Jane Garapick

Hi, I'm Jane Garapick. I'm here to provide inspiration, support and empowerment on the journey to true love. I know what it’s like to have a broken heart, a broken dream, and a broken you. And I know for a fact, that your dreams can still come true! Read more...
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