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They tell me I'm too late

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A beautiful woman looks confused and drained with her chin resting on her palm.
So...what's stopping me?

I need your help today everyone!

A beautiful member of our community wrote me this heartbreaking letter and I want her to hear not just from me but from all of us who feel moved to say something in response to this all too familiar sentiment that we're too late, or too old or too something else. You can comment below and she'll see it on the blog.

Here's what she wrote:

Dear Jane,

I have already been told that I have missed my calling.

That I am far too old.

But I am not dead yet.

More than anything I want to sing. I have a small PA system and I'm building up a repertoire to sing on my own. But these are cover songs. But I want more than that.Continue Reading

Her subject line read "Hurt and Lonely"

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A beautiful woman with her face in her hands because her self esteem is so low.
I keep myself busy, but it hurts so bad.

Our letter today comes from Penny, who got my attention with her subject like that read "Hurt and Lonely." My heart went out to her as I read her story.

Read what she wrote to me - and my response - below. Then you can tell her what you want her to know in the comments there, too.

Her Letter:

Hi Jane,

I have four grown children, just over a year apart. The 50 yr. old is the oldest. I ended up raising them alone, since the oldest was 10 yrs. old.

I had to work two full time jobs, as my ex didn't pay child support.

They all turned out good. No troubles with them. My daughter and I were especially close for years, me babysitting, etc., but then I was working full-time and also went to college at 55 yrs. old and she got a job. She has a husband and two kids, I am alone.

We had an argument in 2009 when I was under stress from my mother dying, etc. We can't seem to get it straightened out. She wants nothing to do with me and therefore I also don't see my grandchildren, who are in college.

I've asked for forgiveness, but she won't.Continue Reading

Freeing Yourself from the Chains of Bondage

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Concept of a woman freeing herself from the chains of bondage
It's time to break those chains.

"I'm ready to do the work" she said. "I'm ready to fix this."

"I sabotaged it - I was so insecure and anxious. I did this. Now I only have myself to blame. Can you help me get him back?"

It wasn't her fault. And no, it didn't require any more "working on herself".

Because it wasn't hers to fix.

She hadn't sabotaged it. She was insecure and anxious BECAUSE he gave her reason to be. NOT because she was this way for no reason.

She didn't do this. She wasn't to blame.Continue Reading

Are you still attracting the bad boys? Here's why and how to stop.

4 Comments

Happy young man and woman in a car enjoying a road trip on a summer day. Couple out on a drive in a open car.
We're attracted to someone who's at ease with what we find difficult.

One of the things I absolutely love about my husband is how he handles surface social settings with such ease. While I'm thinking about what I want to say vs. what I should say or figuring out what's expected of me (because that early PK programming is always right there in my head!), he just shows up normal.

And you know why? Because I was attracted to someone who had ease in an area that I struggled with.

What's just normal and natural to him, is a struggle - or at least a second thought - for me!

My point for you? We're always attracted to someone who can do something we struggle with or don't believe we can do. That thing you're waiting for permission to do? As long as you believe you need permission - or don't give it to yourself, the more you're going to find someone who never looks for permission - or needs it - attractive.

See where I'm going with this?

Whether it's the bad boy, the guy who treats you bad BECAUSE HE CAN, the emotionally unavailable guy who doesn't care if he ever digs deeper because you do all the digging - and understanding - for him, this is why you can't stop being involved with this type of man.

Want to change it? Start here. Start today.Continue Reading

It's Time to Give Up

5 Comments

A woman is lying her head on a couch wondering why she keeps attracting emotionally unavailable men.
It's time to stop trying to be something other than who you really are.

Give up trying to be that girl who has everything you want.

Give up trying to be that girl who does what you've never been able to do.

Give up trying to be that girl who doesn't have to take life seriously, who never seems to feels the pain, who lives her life for having fun.

Give up trying to be her!

You know who I'm talking about. The one you're comparing yourself to, the one you wish you were, the one you try so hard to be.

"Why can't I be more like her?!" Because you're not her. You're you.

Your journey is your own.

What you've been through is yours.

What you can't unsee is a part of that journey.

How it's changed you, how it's molded you, is all of you.Continue Reading

What's your why?

16 Comments

The words what's your why written on white paper.
It's the most important question you can answer.

That's it.

That's the most important question you can answer that's going to bring you the results you're looking for.

Every day, you tell me your stories of why you do the things you do, why you can't stop doing those things, why what you believe is just the way it is and why you've given up on hoping it's ever going to be any different for you.

I listen. And then I ask you that most important question you NEED to answer before ANYTHING is going to be different for you.

Why?

Why are you too old?

Why are you so unique that you're going to be the one person that never finds anyone while everyone else does?Continue Reading

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