Getting to TRUE Love

Finding your YOU that leads to TWO

How does he fall out of love so easily?

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Woman sad over breakup looking at mobile phone on the city bus wondering why he doesn't love her
What I really want is closure

Have you ever wondered why this happens? You're not the only one. Read on to find out what I have to say about this!

Her email:

Hi Jane,

I am writing this to let out some steam as I don't have many friends and really have no one to talk to.

March 2020, in the first week of lockdown, I was suggested to use dating apps by my parent's to get to know more people and see if anything develops. As I am extremely introverted and like to spend majority of my time alone.

On the first week of using a dating app, I met him.

We added each other's contact information and had on and off short conversations into July when he had added my Instagram. I never initiated any of the conversations and gave short replies as I was still very skeptical of online dating and because of my shy nature, I didn't know how to start the conversations.Continue Reading

Remember when you first learned to ride a bike? It's the same thing.

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woman riding a bike
It's time to spread your wings again.

Out of all the tips and tricks you read about everywhere you look these days, there's just one thing that makes anything "work" for you.

It's you!

Remember the phrase, if you could see yourself the way someone who loves you sees you, you would never EVER allow yourself to be treated this way? That's it!

Find someone in your life who sees you like this and hold that vision they have for you.

They don't see you being used, they don't see you being treated the way you allow yourself to be treated. They see you being loved!

It's like learning to ride a bike with training wheels, then someone holds the bike for you when you're ready to take them off. They become the training wheels, steadying you until you're riding by yourself. And before you know it, you're flying high because they let go!Continue Reading

Friends to lovers to I don't know

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Worried woman talking with boyfriend
Was I wrong to tell him how I feel?

Our letter this week comes from Kayla, who doesn't know what to make of the friendship/relationship she's been in with a guy for the past 4 years, and is looking for some help to understand what happened and what she can do to get him back.

Her Story:

Hi Jane,

I've been stuck in a never ending spiral that's worsened these past few months and feel completely out of control of my life and my feelings.

To give some background information, I have been friends with this guy for 4 years, from the end of high school to now, in college. Our relationship has always been flirtatious and full of banter and making jabs at each other.

Through him, I became best friends with his friends.

Recently, we've taken a couple steps forward from our initial friendship. Sure we've had moments in the past where it was this back and forth 'will they, won't they' situation, but nothing ever solid came from anything (and to be quite honest, because he would always pull back).Continue Reading

You or your best friend - who's right?

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girl telling secret things to her girlfriend
Sometimes, we need to hear it from someone else.

What would YOU say is the reason you're single and what would YOUR BEST FRIEND say? No, I'm not yelling, just want to make sure you get both down 🙂

I was thinking about this last night. When I first meet you on a call, I will ask you this, because it matters.

I've never met anyone on my calls who was choosing to be single, even if that's what they said.

Either you're so tired of being asked if you're "still single" and you've got your defenses up so you say the same thing you've always said. Or you're so past the giving up stage that you've just accepted this as your fate.

It's no one's fate, no one's destiny; you have so much more control over your status than you've ever been led to believe!Continue Reading

How do I get someone I actually want?

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A beautiful woman looks sadly out the window.
I miss what I had.

Do you know what kind of energy you're putting out into the world when you're looking for someone to love you?

Most of us don't realize just how much the type of energy we give off matters, or that we can change it if we're not finding what we're looking for.

This is what Jodi wrote in to ask me about, without even realizing it was what was keeping her from finding what she was actually looking for!

Here's what she wrote:

Well, after all I've been through, Jane, I've ended up single. Now I'm missing the times I've had when a guy told me I'm his and protects me and such.

Now I'm just left thinking to myself about what I want and can't get.

So I guess this is what my question comes down to: How do I get someone I actually want?

- JodiContinue Reading

Why do you do it?

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A beautiful woman has her eyes closed representing a panic attack.
Why do you do this?

Think about this.

Wouldn't life be so much easier if you stopped spending so much time with people you have to prove yourself good enough for, and instead went where you're wanted & accepted just as you are?

Read that again.

Wouldn't that make life so much easier and so much better, too?

There's no benefit to be derived from trying to prove you're good enough with people who couldn't care less about you. None at all.

It's only because you feel you have to or you're somehow lacking - and that's on you and your programming. The way you've been conditioned, not anything grounded in real, practical, reality. No logic in the world says to spend time with people who make your life harder in order to make your life easier!

Tell me why you're doing this. Right here, what's your reason?

Why? Because it matters.

More than you know.

Love,

Jane

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