How she went from heartbroken & hopeless to happily married in one year

It all began when Becca responded to my call to claim the year as HER year to find the love she’d been searching for her whole life. In response to an email I sent out to my subscriber list, she responded with this.

Jane, I'm doing this. This is my year to find the love I've been wanting my whole life!"

I made a commitment to not go after the man that abandoned me and my children three times this last year and a half - I am worth more than how I have been treated- my children deserve a good man in their lives that values them as his own. No more will I beg or chase a man. I will allow only good in my life and my children's lives. 

- Becca

 I responded back to her with this email:

Awesome, Rebecca! I'm so glad you're here.

There is nothing like these words, spoken with conviction, to put this into motion, to claim your right to have exactly the kind of love you were made for!

I'm so excited and honored to be on this journey with you, every day, every week, every part of this brand new year. This is going to be YOUR beautiful year!

Be so proud of yourself for recognizing what you can no longer ever afford to do to yourself - or your beautiful children. You are all worth so much more than how he has treated you! In fact, your children will show you more about a man than anyone else ever will!

I coached her through the rejection and abandonment she was feeling to help her gain a new perspective on this guy.

Thank you Jane. I have a question about something that I have struggled with for several weeks.

I found out he may be "hooking up with" a girl that is young enough to be his daughter. He is 53 and I found out he is soliciting sex with a very young girl that may be in her 20s. Keep in mind I am 45, very fit, successful in my career and a single mom for 10 years.

This hurts so bad.

We were so intimate and he always said we would eventually marry (we were engaged) but he wanted to wait til my kids were older. 

The very day before he disappeared we made love as we did several times per week. Now months later I still hurt over this abandonment that occurred after I invited him to my sons football game (he said he didn't want to come, he wanted to go to the gym, and that doesn't he do enough, and it was a burden to come to my kids' events.)

When I told him that hurt my heart that he felt that way, he told me to F-off and hung up and never called me back nor did he answer any of my calls or texts. 

Fast forward it's been several months and I have information that he is seeing a girl half his age. So it hurts to feel rejected and abandoned. Please tell me how I can get over this jump. I really want to! I am tired of living in pain. 

This was my response back.

I wish I could give you the ability to see who this man really is from an outside perspective, Rebecca.

That he could use these harsh words with you, that he responded in the manner he did with you when you confronted him on how much this was hurting you, shows you a clear picture of just how far removed he is from his emotional self and how any attempt on your part to talk about feelings, and especially YOUR feelings, only serves to put him on the defensive and into attack mode to avoid his own pain and shame around disappointing someone and then being confronted by that disappointment.

He can't process his feelings, much less yours, and so as long as things are good - and especially as long as he can express his softer side by making love with you, everything is fine. The fact that this has become a pattern, shows you just how ingrained this is - and who HE actually is.

This is the most difficult man to get over, Rebecca, and especially when he moves on with a much younger woman. Don't take any of his behavior personally! I know that's so much easier said than done but it's so important here.

He's hiding from his shame, running from the mirror you were to him. This always happens in one form or another, because when he can't handle the opportunity you gave him, he's going to run to something safe, something that will reinforce to himself that he can have a real relationship, that he is, in fact, capable of love.

But it backfires on him because he chooses someone who doesn't help him stretch and grow, it remains a surface level relationship and so ends because it's not what he's actually looking for (but doesn't realize this) or it ends when the new woman wants more and comes to the same conclusion as you did - and leaves him, too.

It's not you, it's not you, it's not you!!

Then very recently, I came to find out that  she had embarked on an intentional journey to finally find the love she had been searching for. It began with one step. Responding to one of my emails.

With my "Beautiful, Confident, Radiant YOU!" program playing on audio, she listened to it and took in the deeper meaning behind every lesson every morning on her way to work.

And, in her own words, her thought patterns began to change.

Her old beliefs about what she could expect and what she had to settle for in the name of love were replaced with new beliefs that empowered her to believe there was still hope left for her, and she began to write in her journal everything she wanted for herself and her children.

All of this happened unbeknownst to me until her another email in my inbox caught my eye.

The subject line was full of excitement to share some wonderful news.

I opened it to read these words from her:

Hi Jane!

I began a program with you awhile back after a roller coaster relationship of my boyfriend constantly ghosting me whenever he was mad at me or my children.

At that time I chased him and called him. He was so mean yet I would take him back, only to have the cycle happen again. 

With your program I had on audio, I listened every morning on way to work. My thought patterns changed and I wrote in my journal everything I wanted for myself and my children.

Two months later, an old friend appeared via email that I had known 6 years before. As a friend he reflected my entire list.  After a few months of being friends we began courting and a year later he asked me to marry him.

We were just married in Jamaica! He is currently in the process of adopting my three youngest boys (their dad disappeared over 10 years ago). 

Love,

Becca

I called her the following day to congratulate her and hear more of her beautiful story, this women who I’d never met in person but whose life had been changed by doing one thing: replacing her old beliefs that told her she had to settle for less than she knew she deserved if she wanted to be loved again.

That was false and she found that out when she was married just 6 months later to the man of her dreams, a man she could never have believed would be coming into her life back then.

She’s excited to share her story with you to inspire every one of you out there looking for hope, searching for answers, trying to find the inspiration to believe dreams still do come true.

They do!

Congratulations, Becca! I’m so honored to have been a part of your journey to true love and am so very happy for you!

Love,

Jane

If you’d like to share your own story of finding love or if all you have is heartbreak right now, the comments are open to you!