Do you do this too?

Do you do this? Do you attach way too fast?

Do you pick up on a few important cues and then that's it, you start to fill in the blanks and conclude this is your place/your person before you even know anything about them?

Are you all in before you even know where you've found yourself?

When you grew up in an environment where you didn't have a secure attachment (and especially if you're a deeply sensitive soul!) you're still searching for that kind of attachment to someone you can transfer the fulfillment of that need onto.

So when someone or something resembles that original person or environment, you're all in.

This is why it's so devastating when they reveal themselves to be who they actually are. The problem is that you had already convinced yourself they were someone else all along!

To your detriment.

There's a way to stop doing this. Don't attach early. Don't attach before someone has shown you with consistent actions over time that they are who you think they are.

Detachment once you're already attached to someone is so much harder to learn than not attaching in the first place.

I work with women on this all the time and feel their pain undoing the process once they're already in. It can be done, but it's never easy to undo something you've learned so well!

Sure it's going to feel like someone is so perfect for you when you're picking up on the same cues from them as you picked up on in your childhood memories at the cellular level.

But remember how that turned out for you?

You have the power to avoid creating that similar dynamic again! This isn't about him having to be or do something different that you have no control over.

This is giving you the power to do something you absolutely CAN do!

Love,

Jane

How about you, Beautiful - do you do this? Type yes in the comments so you can see you're in good company here - and once you see this, you now have the power to change it!