I've got a question you'll want to answer right now, Beautiful.
It matters because it's at the root of all your relationships, whether it's conscious or not, and it's past time we get you to the bottom of this mystery of why you keep finding yourself in the relationships you do!
What was the first belief you held about love, whether you realized it or not?
Love conquers all?
Love is only for some select few?
Love is blind?
Love hurts?
I've been studying relationships and the question of why we choose who we do long enough to see a direct correlation between what we believe about love and who we find ourselves in relationships with, whether you even realize you hold these beliefs or not.
What may seem to you as simply the way our culture views love is so much more personal than that - with far-reaching very personal applications for you! What you can't see, you simply can't change, so what I want you to see today - right now - is what most of my coaching clients come to see even if they too didn't see it at first either.
This is your turn to be coached by me!
So go ahead and ask yourself right now what you would say to be true about love, then pick the very first thing that comes to mind and type it in here in the comments.
Voila! THIS is the single biggest motivating force that's at the root of your relationships/driving your relationships.
Next time we're going to take it one step farther and learn what you can do about it! Spoiler alert: recogning the root cause is EVERYTHING and now there's so much you can do to change your relationship patterns you probably weren't even aware of!
And you know something, Beautiful? You may even help someone else to see what they weren't able to see before, too!
Love,
Jane
PS I'll get you started, I always believed that love conquers all. All I needed to do was prove to someone just how much there was to love about me and once I convinced him of that, everything else would work out perfectly! Can you relate? Tell us below in the comments.
I believe in Love, Marriage Me commitment. I al ays seem to go with Men I feel I can fix or help somehow and most of them turn out to be controlling Narcists
Kim, you're going to LOVE the letter I'm answering on Friday!
I grew up with a father that was in and out of my life, and a mother who had too much stress to give me the attention I was needing. I sought out attention by being promiscuous thinking that it was a way to get love in return. I would stay in bad relationships thinking I could change them or that they would feel bad and in return start loving me. It seems that as soon as I leave the relationships they suddenly realize they had someone good but then it’s too late because I’ve moved on to the next person who also doesn’t know how to love me the way I want. My expectations about love has been “Love conquers all” because I stay in the relationship and put up with everything that others wouldn’t dare put up with. And so I stay thinking they will change, I’ll forgive them, it’s my fault, etc... Love doesn’t always conquer all. I have come to the realization that I’m the only one in the relationship needing to be loved. I’m also realizing that I need to learn to love myself more, and I am. I’ve been single for over a year now and I’m liking being alone because it’s giving me a chance to get to know ME and during this time I’ve realized so many things about myself that I never had thought about while being in these relationships. I never gave myself a break in between relationships because I was always needing someone in my life to love and to be “loved” in return. Love hasn’t always been mutual for me. I feel that I’ve been the “conqueror” in “Love conquers all.” Maybe some day someone special that is meant for me will conquer me and then together we can conquer anything because when there’s mutual love then that’s when love conquers all. I’m still praying for a man that loves God more than anything because if he does I know he will love me good.
Love is everything
When I think of love, I feel the following: butterflies, warmth, understanding, trust, emotional safety and support, united, strength; both in giving and receiving. Love/acceptance for who I am in each and every moment and vice versa
When I was young:
Don't mistake infatuation for love, always be sweet and genteel...you attract more bees with honey
What i have learned as well:
Address red flags, toxicity and don't sleep with them without commitment ,stand your ground
Love conquers all
Peace
I believe sometimes you can be in love with someone you think loves you as much but really doesn’t. So my conclusion is you can’t make someone love you.
Love hurts
Love is commitment, honesty, openness, compassion, intense passion & connection.
Love is only temporary. The rest of your life is way more important. My father died when I was small. My grandfather (my grandmother lived with us) had died before I was born. Now I understand that neither my mother or my gran really dealt with their grief, and acted as if their relationships had never happened. I grew up in a relationship vacuum.
Love conquers all is mine too. Just what you said!
You respect each other. In order to experience true love,it also means that there’s a high level of respect.kindness and compassion between you and your partner.you can emphasize with one another see.each other’s point of view and experience true love.
I’m second best, not enough ( of whatever) to be picked first
I always believed that love conquers all
It’s a two way street and both ppl are valid
I believe it’s a two way street and that both ppl are as valid as each other
Love is pain. It comes as a sacrifice to your freedom.
I always believed that love is shown by how much you can do for someone else, that compromise is the key to a happy relationship, but as I’ve gotten older I’ve discovered that putting those you love as a first priority above yourself and being the “understanding friend , lover, wife” only gets you taken for granted.
I guess I’ve gotten so good at fixing other peoples issues that I’ve become known as the oracle...... but oracles more often than not are hermits that live alone.
Even though I’m surrounded by people I care about I feel so very .... detached, alone.
Love is only for the lucky ones. I grew up in a dsyfunctional home and I saw other people who grew up in a “normal” home and I’ve always thought I would never be one of them
I believed Love conquers all Not true.
I believed Love conquers all Not true.
Forever
Same for me.
love conquers all
My idea of what love is and means to me, is attraction first, personality, honesty, trust, fun and sharing stories and of course affection.
I believe that totally now. Friendship first.
I always believed that if you truly loved someone and they loved you it would last forever but that's not true at all.
Devoted to the person/ relationship you love
“Love comes with a price.”
I grew up in an abusive home so live was conditional.
Even before I got to the end and read your response, my answer was love conquers all and if I loved enough it would be enough if I just showed how much I loved I would be loved that much back and when things were tough again love conquers all
Performance Based love if I did so will they, they have to be on the same page ... they just have to was my though
Love conquers all, Right??
Thank you Jane always the right conversation and questions to have.
It is unconditional
I believed that you had to work for and earn love and chose two marriages to men that I did everything I possibly could for...the first husband cheated on me with my best friend...the second husband just used me until I decided I was done (each marriage lasted 20 years!) I took me a lifetime to learn that you don’t need to earn love from someone. I am finally in a truly loving relationship which I did not imagine for myself...a kind, loving, supportive man who is a real life partner. It took me so long to shake the conditioning I learned as a child growing up with alcoholic parents.