My message for you today is a short but important one, so listen up, because it has the potential to change everything that's wrong in your life!
For those of you who feel overwhelmed at the thought of doing anything different, let alone knowing what that one thing to do would be, think about this.
If you don't do anything different, if you don't go out of your usual zone, if you don't look for different people than you're used to finding, how can you NOT keep repeating your old patterns?
You can't!
So what's the answer? How do you change this without the overwhelm, the indecision of what you need to do to change where you've been from where you're going?
Here's how.
Do just one thing different.
Go just a little out of your comfort zone.
Give that guy who's not your usual type a chance!
It's these little steps that make a difference, not the big epiphany stuff that we wait until we've got before we resolve to make any changes. Start small. Pick one thing.
I'm not a big fan of jumping into anything that won't be sustainable, but picking one of the simpler, easier things for you to begin will make it much easier to keep doing it than jumping in the deep end from the start.
See how much easier that is?
Remember, this is where I came from. All or nothing doesn't work. Clarity around what you actually want by starting with the manageable does!
Love,
Jane
Okay, here's the fun part. Share the ONE THING you're going to do different. No overwhelm, no indecision. Just pick one and write it here in the comments. If you need help, ask. We're going to do this together!
Jane thank you! This message has been read at the exact time I should be reading it! I just happened to be thinking of what can I do differently NOW... and then I read your article. Amazing coincidence.
I have decided to go on a fitness spree. This incudes eating even better than I already do, and exercise. I plan on this being long-term. Thank you for asking what my one thing I would do differently.
Don't give my heart away too quickly
Not until he's showing you clearly - with his actions - that he's giving his heart to you! Hearing you, Melinda!
Stop trying to push my relationship to the next level
Hearing you, Karen. You need him pushing for it, too!
My sister from California is going to be here for a visit and this time when she asks me to go play pool or have a drink with I will shock her by saying yes.
Stepping out of your comfort zone. Love it, Robin!
I'm going to respond rather than react.
That's a huge one, Vicki. Even just saying each of those words out loud creates a different mindset. Cheering you on from here!
I just left a man whom I knew couldn’t give me the love I wanted... I am very proud of myself.
I started a walking program and I want to continue even if the scale doesn’t show weight loss as fast as I would like to see.
Proud of you over here too, Joanne! The women I coach to meet their diet and exercise goals don't do it just by watching what the scale says, but by choosing an activity they can stick to consistently. Be proud of yourself for this, too! These simple actions are how real change begins!
Never settle for a man who can't treat me how I want and deserve to be treated
And I'll hold you to this one, Janet. You'll always know, just need to trust yourself when you do.
I did exactly that a week ago but it took me at least 3 months to get the courage to do it. To be able to get away from an emotionally unavailable man....
It's very important to pick a healthy relationship one that let's you trust, have loyalty, communication, and equal coming from both sides of the relationship one not carrying more weight then the other unless a goal or plan follows upon an agreement. 💜💜💜.
Exactly this, Constance. Equal is your word here - and you'll feel it if it's not.
Give someone a chance who isn’t my normal type
Almost every email I get telling me "I'm engaged" or "We just got married" begins with this, Pam. Choosing someone consciously is something we were never taught how to do, and it matters!
One thing be more open to meet men outside my usual one I seem to be drawn to.
To understand the true feelings of another person from a past relationship and the new relationship I have now! What is the their intentions?
Run if I see 1 red flag.
Yes! At the first sign, Juliet. It doesn't get better, we just get better at excusing it!
I so much agree on this one!!!
Only fall for a man that can be my friend first. Someone that that be there not only when things are good but also during tough times.
Love this, Ludie. Your best friend who you're also attracted to is the surest formula I know!
Take time and explain things better in order to build a stronger relationship that i have always shied away from doing.
I work with a lot of women on being more direct, Brandi. This is lifechanging in so many areas!