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What about friendships with other women? I have such a hard time with this!

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A beautiful woman leans her head against a tree, looking unsure.
I am "that single girl".

Nikki's writing to me today about challenges she's experienced around her friendships with other women. She's looking for some advice and I've got some for her! See if this is something you can relate to as well.

Here's what she wrote:

Dear Jane,

Thank you for this website. Every article you have written has applied to me. I really needed to read ALMOST ALL your articles today. I am "that single girl". Smart, attractive, nice funny,  great job, etc. but can't keep a man or friends for that matter.

I have been the girl to stay in bad relationships for fear of being alone, compromising myself to fit in with people that did not honor me. I am also the single girl at all family gathering. Yes, even the young ones in the family, are married and popping out babies.Continue Reading

What do you ACTUALLY need?

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Beautiful blond woman feeling rejected after guy disappeared.
Sometimes what you think you want is not what you actually need.

The biggest breakthroughs in my coaching practice happen when you realize what you actually need, not just what you're so used to saying you want.

I lived almost my entire single life saying I wanted one thing when I really wanted something very different, so I'm really good at helping you see these things when you can't see them for yourself. Usually, I end up confirming what you know in your heart you've needed all along, but the way it looks when it finds you can be very confusing because it's not what you expected it to be.

See if this makes it any clearer for you.Continue Reading

I Feel Like I'm Incapable of a Successful Relationship

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Outdoor portrait of a sad woman feeling rejected.
I feel so down, so lonely and used.

The subject line of her email said it all. "I am incapable of a successful relationship."

I'm answering Tina's email on the blog today because I hear from so many of you who've come to the same conclusion and you've all but given up any hope of changing this. You're in the right place because I find hope out of hopelessness despite what you can't yet see, so stay with me here. If you've ever felt like this, I've got so much hope for you today!

Her Story:

Hi Jane,Continue Reading

Your One Thing

20 Comments

A woman is looking up at question marks above her head.
What's yours?

I started a coaching session with a woman yesterday with the same question I've got for you.

Like most of us who've been here, she's got a guy she's hearing less and less from and is struggling to get over him once and for all.

I knew this was going to be a long session and I wanted to get to the heart of the matter to get her some relief right away, so I narrowed it down to one single question whose answer stood out as soon as she told me her story. I needed her to make this connection so she could see the significance of it, too.

What is the one skill you feel you're lacking? Or, put another way, what is the one thing you wish you could do that would make you feel so much better right now?Continue Reading

Is it time for me to give up?

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A beautiful woman looking pensive holds a clock wondering if she is wasting her time with her boyfriend.
How long should I wait?

Is it? Rita's wondering if it might be. Read on to see what you think, and then let her know in the comments below.

Her Story:

Hi Jane,

I started seeing a guy a little over a year ago, we have both been divorced about two years, I was married for 18 years and he was for 17 years, we both have one child, that are about a year apart in age, we live in different cites, about 45 minutes apart.

When we first started dating after about two months, he broke it off because he said (famous words of all men) he wasn't ready for what he thought I wanted, a serious relationship. After about a month (I knew he would be back) he started calling me again, so we started dating again, we never talked about the "serious relationship" thing.

We have such a wonderful time together, although that time is very limited due to our schedules with our kids, maybe once a week sometimes once every two weeks. I know he enjoys being with me and when we do see one another, we do usually end up spending the night together and no we don't always have sex, but our sex life is awesome!Continue Reading

Pick one

27 Comments

Beautiful young woman with long hair lying on the grass
It's time to do things a little differently.

My message for you today is a short but important one, so listen up, because it has the potential to change everything that's wrong in your life!

For those of you who feel overwhelmed at the thought of doing anything different, let alone knowing what that one thing to do would be, think about this.

If you don't do anything different, if you don't go out of your usual zone, if you don't look for different people than you're used to finding, how can you NOT keep repeating your old patterns?Continue Reading

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