You: But I just know we're meant to be together!
Me: Know how you'll know if you're meant to be with someone?
Because they'll be there with you.
They'll be there for you. They'll show you with their actions and behavior that they actually want to be with you.
Not just empty words and promises they can never live up to.
There won't be any doubt. You won't be trying to figure them out.
You won't have to. They'll want you to know how they feel!
In fact, they wouldn't ever want you to doubt how they feel because - and here's the kicker - they will actually care about you and your feelings.
Yes. That's right. They will actually CARE about how you feel.
Got this? Good. Because that's how you'll know. And girl, you will absolutely know!
Love,
Jane
I got it
Thank you. I got it just when I needed to hear that. I love your videos and your encouraging advice. Thank you so much.
Aw, thank you Linda. I'm so glad you're here!
I got it
Yay! Glad you're here, Roberta!
I got it!
So true, I haven't had this since my husband died 12 years ago. Since then, it's been nothing but liars, backstabbers and theives.
Hearing you, Lori. You know I hear this often from widows. The ones that come after are tragically not at all the same as the one you lose.
I recently reconnected with the love of my life. We dated in college and gradually drifted apart. He became quite a player but continually kept in touch over the intervening years. We reconnected on Facebook about 10 years ago. The spark is still there, for both of us. But he’s married. He says he’s miserable in his marriage, but I can’t tell. He says he’s not sure what he wants, and he vacillates between being miserable and wanting to leave, and thinking that maybe it’s easier to stay. His wife is a recovering alcoholic with extreme bipolar and rage issues, unmedicated. I have let him know that we are firmly in the friend zone, unless and until he ends his marriage. But it’s killing me. He is the one I never got over, the one everyone else has been compared to. I know I need to stay strong, and I need help.
So this would be your life with him, Terry. He's giving you a pretty clear snapshot of it. I have a feeling that would kill you even more than it's killing you now. We're here for you. Stay strong for you, not him. You're worth so much more than what you're going through with him!
It’s 11 weeks now since I was dumped by my ex (on NYE), & your article today really resonates with me.
I was seeing this man for nearly 8 months, but in all those months I never really knew where I stood with him, I continually doubted his feelings for me, he let me down many times while we were together.
I still have deep feelings for him, but after 11 weeks apart, I know I’m now strong enough to say No if he tried to come back.
I deserve better than him. I want a man who I’m sure of his feelings for me, who I will not have a shred of doubt about.
I would rather stay single than put up with less than this.
Exactly, Janine! And you knew this early, because of this - "But in all those months, I never really knew where I stood with him" That's one of the strongest signs that something's wrong. When you don't have any sense of security, safety or assurance of what you have. You'll NEVER feel this way with someone who's on the same page as you, who's truly compatible with you! You've got this, girl!
Got it.
Glad to hear it, Olive!
Got it.
Good!
Hello Jane
I have been helping this guy for over 2 years financially and I love him so much. I even buy his needs but he always hurt me. He only response my text if he received all the things and finance I gave. What shall do.
It's become a comfortable habit then, Elizabeth. He's holding you hostage with your need to feel love in this dysfunctional form that has NOTHING to do with love and EVERYTHING to do with control. Start by the practical act of saying no to any more money. We can deal with the emotional part next but first, the practical act of stopping the financing of this relationship that he's set up to hurt you so he can feel a semblance of control over his out of control life, is the beginning of ending this. One step at a time. We've got you!
Got it.
Yay!