4 Valuable Lessons 2020 Taught Me about Life, Love, and Happiness

I’ve gotten to know so many of you this year. Some for the first time, and others much more deeply than I had before.

Your stories, your heartbreaks, your dreams, your hopes, your plans – and the realities of this year that brought so many of them to an abrupt halt.

It’s been such an honor to share in your lives!

If it wasn’t exactly the year you wanted to have, with yet another chapter of your life closing with the same now familiar ending - another year alone - I hope my message today resonates with you.

Of all the things I learned from the roller coaster ride of 2020, I’ve narrowed it down to these 4 things this year has taught me about life, love and happiness, and I hope they'll help you as much as they've helped me.

First, I’ve realized the extent to which none of us are ever really alone. This has become so clear to me in my conversations with you.

Every day I connect with women from all around the world including places like Australia, the UK, France, Germany, Ireland, the Philippines, Austria, South Africa, and of course Canada and the U.S., to name a few.

And what I've learned from these fascinating conversations is that we’re all much more connected than we realize.

The loneliness and heartbreak you feel on one side of the world is the same loneliness and heartbreak I hear on my next call from a place that couldn't be further away on the globe.

Because we’re not nearly as different as we’ve been led to believe we are.

And while no, this may not immediately change the circumstances you find yourself in, there’s something that feels different when we know we’re not the only ones feeling the way we are.

Something changes when we stop feeling like there’s something wrong with us and recognize the only thing actually wrong is the one common denominator here - the culture we’ve grown up in that keeps deflecting the blame onto us so IT doesn’t have to change!

The second thing I’ve learned this year, is just how valuable sharing our experiences is. Sharing the experience of who we are, with someone who understands what we’re going through.

There’s been a theme throughout this pandemic that we’re all in the same boat, and yet what we quickly learned was that the boat isn’t the same for everyone.

I’ve heard from so many of you contemplating the meaning of life, trying to find a reason to keep going when the losses and disappointments and setbacks keep piling up, making you feel lonelier than you’ve ever been.

At the same time, there were others I talked to who found working from home in their job, living with people who love them, having the privilege to choose when or if they ventured out at all, was actually something that had surprising benefits for them personally.

No, we’re not all in the same boat in 2020. Not everyone can relate to or understand what we’re going through and so it is something to treasure when we have someone who we can turn to when no one else seems to understand.

Being able to be vulnerable and share your story, your fears and anxieties with someone you trust is something to be treasured.

The third thing I’ve learned in this year that's been unlike any other I’ve lived through, is we don’t need nearly the number of things we think we do in order to be happy.

All the 'stuff' we’ve been told we have to have to feel worthy, all the image-conscious pieces of our lives we’ve been told by the best marketing campaigns out there that we need to have, suddenly don't seem all that necessary.

And that has reminded us what’s really important.

Not the perfect handbag, or shoes, or jewelry or the car or even house. It's our loved ones who we care for and who care for us in return - that's what it's all about.

Things don't really matter, people do. It's the people in our lives, the ones we surround ourselves with, whether that be in person or over the phone or on a zoom call, they're the ones who make us happy.

A place to call home along with people to come home to, both figuratively and literally. These are the things that really matter.

Which brings me to the fourth thing I learned, which is to take a good look at whether you're actually in a place where you want to be.

Do you like this place you call home?

I heard someone say the pandemic was like musical chairs when the music suddenly stopped playing and we found ourselves stuck right where we were at that moment without being able to plan where we would have wanted to be if we’d known this is where we’d be stuck for quite a long time.

I know this one first hand, as I found myself basically trapped outside of my home country, Canada, when the border was essentially closed off to the U.S.

It was the first time in my life that I couldn't just "go home" whenever I wanted to, and, even though there have been fairly long stretches of time in my life when I didn't go home, I always had the ability to.

Suddenly finding myself in the situation where I was effectively not allowed to, at least not easily, was psychologically very difficult for me.

I know many of you are feeling a similar stress from the impact the pandemic has had on your own personal mobility and freedom to travel as a means of escaping when the feelings of staying in one place for longer than you expected, start to be overwhelming.

These are the four takeaways I've personally learned from this year that most of us are more than ready to put behind us.

Remember, first of all, that you’re not alone in your feelings. We're all the same in so many ways - especially in the ways that make us most vulnerable, and no matter what you're feeling, you can know there’s someone else in the world feeling the same way right now, so don't ever feel like there's something wrong with you for feeling the way you do.

Second, it’s a matter of finding the right people to share your hopes and dreams and experiences with – not the wrong ones who only make you feel worse!

Third, focus on what truly makes you happy, which is love - whether right now that means romantic love, or the love of friends and family (not to mention our furry family members!)

And last but not least, as I told one woman on a call today, make it a priority to be where you truly want to be, in an environment that reflects and nurtures the real you, because it affects so many things either negatively or positively for you!

Before I go, I want to share with you one of my favorite gifts I received this year – one wrapped up for me by someone who knows me really well: I still remember the days I prayed for what I have now.

Because I’ll never forget how hopeless I felt, how alone I felt, how deprived I felt that everyone seemed to have what I felt like I'd never have.

Completely irrational, yes, but did I see it then? No way.

Wherever in the world this message finds you today, whatever you’re going through and whatever it feels like to be you right now, don’t let anyone tell you dreams don’t come true and love isn’t all around you when you recognize just how much power and control you have over what you allow in and what you keep out.

I will ALWAYS be here to walk with you the same steps I took in my own journey from where I used to be to where I am now, and together, we’re going to get you over here, too.

I see you, I hear you, and I will always remember you.

Here’s to you, Beautiful! Let’s take what we’ve learned from 2020 and get ready for the next part of our lives to unfold in 2021. Sending so much love to you! Let me know in the comments below if this message meant something to you.