The Essence of You

The more single women I work with the more I’m convinced that beauty, intelligence, success, wealth, and attractiveness do not correlate with an increased ability to attract the right Mr. Right.  For every woman who may seem to have it all (or at least have something that we think we're missing that we need to attract a man) the story they tell in reality is one that is all too similar to the rest of us.

We think that the more beautiful a woman is, the more likely she’ll attract a better relationship or a higher quality guy, but in fact, of the ones I can think of, the opposite is true (think of all the models who seem to end up with the rocker guys only to be divorced a few years later).

The reality is that no matter how educated we are, how attractive we are, how much money we have, how much we have to offer someone on whatever level, none of these things seem to correlate with how good we are at finally getting it right and having a real relationship with a real guy that will stand the test of time.

Because it’s just not about that.  Those outer things, those surface things, may seem to attract someone to us, and yes, we’ve all seen the beautiful woman with a crowd of men around her at a party, but those types of surface things don’t form the basis for a real, lasting relationship.

Be true to yourself.

Underneath the surface is what’s real, as in who we really are.  That’s what really matters over time.  And while the surface package may be very attractive, it’s what’s inside that comes through over time and is what matters in the long term.  The real light inside each one of us is what attracts a loving, available, healthy man, a man that is right for us, and bonds us together in the long term.

And that’s the only type of man who’s worthy of being in your life; someone who sees beyond that surface package to the heart and soul of who you are, the essence of you that is worth more than even the most attractive surface package.