You’re perplexed. Puzzled. Utterly Confused.
On the one hand, he says he’s not ready for a commitment. He says he can’t give you what you’re looking for.
But then instead of letting you go, he shows up just enough to keep that hope alive.
Hope in him. Hope in what one day will be him and you.
You’ve asked me why. You want to know what he’s doing, what his motivation is, and whether you’ve got a chance at things working out with him.
Could he not have meant what he said? Could he just be confused? Could it be that there’s hope for the two of you after all?
Your questions reveal a beauty within you that you’re about to miss as you focus all your energy on him.
You want to believe. You want to keep the hope alive. You want it to be him.
You want to believe in miracles, in dreams coming true even if you’re the only one who believes in them.
You have such love within you. To see him like you do. To see his potential like you always have.
But underneath that, you’ve got to see what’s really going on here.
He can’t let you go. But he can’t hold onto you either.
He wants his cake, and he wants to eat it too.
He wants to give you just enough to keep you hanging on, but not enough for you to accuse him of leading you on.
He’s going to put this on you, Beautiful. He’s going to tell you that it’s your choice, that he’s told you where he stands so you staying is at your own risk.
This is what he wants. Zero responsibility on his part. Full responsibility on yours.
This is the part you need to see.
Not the part that imagines the fairy tale ending down the road.
The part that sees the confused, conflicted, "not responsible" little boy inside who you want with all your heart to believe in.
This is real life, Beautiful. Yours.
You can keep holding onto all these reasons he’s got you believing things are going to change.
But at the end of the day, I have only one question for you: What if it doesn’t?
What if the only reason he can’t let go of you is because he wants to keep you hanging on so that you’ll be there for him if he should ever decide he’s ready for everything he knows you are and everything he knows you have to offer?
But what if he’s never ready? What then?
Find your own answer to his ambivalence right there.
What then? If you can’t live with your answer, don’t.
Do something different. Don’t hang on. Don’t hang your hope on someone who doesn’t share your dreams, or who only pays lip service to them.
End the confusion. End the pattern. End the back and forth.
You know what you’re going to find when you do?
Another kind of man. Someone who doesn’t do confusion. Someone who doesn’t do back and forth. Someone who won’t lead you on.
Because when you consciously choose to refuse to live in confusion, or with the anxiousness of trying to interpret the back and forth, or wondering if he’s only leading you on, you’ll have found something greater than that within you without even realizing what you’ve done.
Someone who knows her worth. Someone who knows what she deserves. And someone who’s got her power back. She's you!
And that's how you change this. Change your response to someone who treats you like this, let that new response become so familiar to you that it's the only response you have, and you will never, ever be left hanging again!