I get it. I understand completely. The problem is that while it's very simple to understand, it's not as simple to achieve. I know because it was so difficult for me too - in fact it still is. But it's quite possibly the most important thing you can do to allow the kind of love that you really want into your life.
So for today, we’re going to put aside all the bigger pictures and we’re just going to focus on this one very special thing:
Accepting who you are.
With all those things you wish were different. With all those things you call your flaws and you’d give anything to change. I want them all.
Embrace those things.
I want you to embrace each and every one of them.
I want you to write them down, right now. Go and get a pen and some paper, and write down each and every one of those things about yourself that you feel like you would change if you could.
Now I want you to celebrate those things in the biggest way you possibly can.
If you wrote down needy, then be needy! I want to see your neediness from here. Say out loud what you need, write it down big and bold.
The same with your fears. If you’re afraid, write them down. Big and bold.
Say them as you write them, make them as large as you can. Draw pictures if you’re more visual, of what they look like. Make them all as big as you can. Do this with every part of you that makes you you. We’re going to get everything out in the open so that there’s nothing to hide.
Don’t stop until you’re done getting it all out.
All those things you loathe about yourself and wish you could change. And there, my beautiful friend, you have a picture of the very worst things you think about yourself, the person you believe you are right now.
It’s going to change. But first you have to see these things in the light of how big they really are and how OK it is to be you. Love these parts of you. Tell yourself the story of why these are for loving.
Like neediness. If you’re needy, good, because it means you know what you need and you know how badly you need it! It means you have the ability to be truly attached to another person.
If you’re fearful of something, then great, you’re in touch with what you’re afraid of! Accept yourself, my beautiful friend; accept each and every one of these things in the biggest way you can.
No more hiding, no more pretending.
If you can love yourself -all of you – including this, so will someone else. But you have to be the first.
It has to come from you.
Because you are going to soon see that you are so much more than just these things. They don’t define you. But in order to see that for yourself, in order to get to the next step, we all have to start with where we’re at.